Best thing about this blog? No one reads it!!!! And I can be as retarded as I want!!!

It’s been awhile, but my dreams have been increasingly bizarre and sex oriented. Dreamt I was giving head to a girl who I’ve net twice in my life, but my mouth was extremely dry. We woke up later in the night/morning to a bum cat calling us.

I dreamt that I moved into the same apartment building as my boss and his wife.  Another coworker had previously occupied my new residence.  At work, my boss remarks to me that we should change the locks on the apartment, since we’ve been getting visits from uninvited guests.  I ask him what happened, and he says that our coworker has been sleepwalking into his old kitchen and crying over the loss of his two berry plants.

In another dream, I had a baby kitten.  The kitten loved to hide in the warmth and humidity of the dish washer after it had just been run.  Someone I knew decided to turn the dishwasher on with the kitten still inside.  Horrified, I ran to the dishwasher to open the door and let the poor thing out.  The kitten sputtered up water, and after a few gasps of air began swearing violently and the perpetrator.

I’ve got a pretty good one to make up for the lack of material this weekend.  I’m with two friends and we’re all dressed quite nicely with old fashioned suits and fedoras.  We’re walking down a touristy city street at night and pass by a Seven-Eleven.  My friend pulls us into the store, which is no longer a convenience store, but a cheap late night diner.  The hostess asks us how many, but my friend pulls out a Glock nineteen from his jacket and demands everything in the cash register.  The frightened hostess grabs a bag, fills it with money, and we stroll off into the night.

We go up the block to the next restaurant.  This one is much classier.  Dimly lit with patrons dressed in similarly sharp, old-fashioned clothing.  We walk into a floor with only dining tables and customers — no hostess or cash register is visible.  My friend whips out his gun and points it at one of the patrons.  The man looks up and explains that the cash register is a different floor.  My friend nods and heads for the staircase.  My other friend and I look at each other quizzically and follow him loosely.  We head up a flight of a grand staircase with a crimson rug.  On the second floor, the seen is much the same.  No cash register to rob, only rich folks enjoying fine dinners.  With us about 15 meters away, my friend gets frustrated, pulls the gun on a patron and demands everything in his wallet.  The man calmly obeys, but immediately after, calls for restaurant security.  My friend bolts for the door, leaving me and the third compatriot on our own.  We look at each other, decide that perhaps we were sufficiently distant from our criminal friend that people wouldn’t connect us as his cronies.  Nonetheless, we deem it wise to make for the door quickly and quietly.  We dodge several security guards who are scrambling for the other door and make our way into the street.

I had another completely unrelated dream in which I bought an iPad 2.

Can’t remember any of them, which is odd, since I was pretty intoxicated both nights, and that usually results in very vivid dreams.

The company I work for was recently acquired, and there’s a lot of speculation as to what will happen in the coming weeks.  If everything plays out like my dream last night, I would be exceptionally happy.  I dreamt that our new ownership extended me a new job offer which included a $45k/year raise.

In an entirely unrelated dream, I was back in 5th grade, but I had an older brother who was actually me.  I was two people at the same time.  Or maybe one person at two different times?

Unfortunately, the only bit of my dream that I remember is exceedingly gross.  I was in a locker room, and someone else was showing me the warts that were growing under his toenails.  What kind of shit in my brain made me dream of something so foul, and how do I get rid of it?

I’ve been busy.  Too busy for dreams.

I only remember a fragment of last night’s dream.  It went like this:  my roommate mentions that he’s seen this site (the one you’re looking at right now), and he thinks its a cool idea.  I wonder how he found out about it, since I haven’t told anyone.

I dreamt I had a female lesbian wrestler friend.  How very odd.

I didn’t have Internet access, so this will be a batch update containing whatever fragments I remember.

3/4/2011

I’m riding a fixie a huge grassy hillside, and despite my best efforts, I can’t apply the brakes or slow down.  My back tire skids through the grass as my bike fishtails down the slope.

3/5/2011

Nothing remembered.

3/6/2011

I decide to switch up my daily schoolbus route and take the #22 line.  On the bus, I see my friend, with whom I had just spent the entire weekend with.  She remarks, “We’ve certainly seen quite a bit of each other recently.”